Scriptwriting: "Subtext"

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:
JOHN THE ITALIAN
DR. JUDY TOOTY

JOHN THE ITALIAN is walks into DR. JUDY TOOTY'S office and sits on the couch that is in front of a large window that overlooks the busy city. There is a large potted plant in one corner of the room and a bland but tasteful painting on the wall across from the plant. DR. JUDY TOOTY sits in a recliner with a pad of paper in her right hand and a pen in her left. Her legs are crossed. JOHN THE ITALIAN sits rigidly on the couch.

JOHN THE ITALIAN: (tensely, flailing his arms) Doctor Judy Tooty, I have a problem!

DR. JUDY TOOTY: (sitting back in her chair, seemingly disinterested) Please, John, relax and tell me what has happened.

JOHN THE ITALIAN: (speaking frantically) Okay, so my wife and I have been having troubles in the relationship but yesterday, the situation got a whole lot worse!

DR. JUDY TOOTY: (twirling pen and engaging herself with something outside the window, speaking blandly) Please calm down and tell me what happened…

JOHN THE ITALIAN: (relaxing a little, speaking at a slightly slower pace) My wife and I have had a healthy sex life ever since the marriage, but yesterday, amidst having sex, instead of screaming my wife's name, I hollered my best friend's name – Jack.

DR. JUDY TOOTY: (Suddenly paying attention but remaining skeptical) So you mean to tell me that you haven't had sex in a day?

JOHN THE ITALIAN: Correct.

DR. JUDY TOOTY: (With disgust) Well, I must say, you puking, rumpfed horn-beast, you are quite a glutton. Why do you think you screamed your friend - this "Jack" - instead of your wife's?

JOHN THE ITALIAN: (angrily) You fobbing, doghearted, boar-pig, that's why I'm seeing you now. I tried to rekindle our feelings, but she just ignores me! (Gets up, speaks with sadness) I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen, to sign our divorce forms! (Hunches over, defeated)

DR. JUDY TOOTY: (With false sympathy) Oh. Oh you poor thing. (Moves to touch JOHN THE ITALIAN'S arm)

JOHN THE ITALIAN: (Jumping away, crying theatrically) Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!

DR. JUDY TOOTY: (haughtily, stepping forward and looking down on JOHN THE ITALIAN) Why you tottering, flap-mouthed miscreant! How dare you speak to me in such a way?!

JOHN THE ITALIAN: (matching DR. JUDY TOOTY'S tone) My feelings are towards my wife and my wife only! Real mean do not cheat. No, I'm all man. I even fought in WWII. (thumps fist against chest) Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform.

DR. JUDY TOOTY: (eyeing JOHN THE ITALIAN interestedly) You're not too smart, are you? I like that in a man. We do have the room to ourselves…

JOHN THE ITALIAN: That, we do. Excuse me while I whip this out (reaches into pants)

DR. JUDY TOOTY: Oh my god. (Runs to the window) Look at that! (pointing excitedly out the window) Look how she moves! That's just like Jell-O on springs!

JOHN THE ITALIAN: (from behind DR. JUDY TOOTY, desperately) Doctor, please! I need help!

DR. JUDY TOOTY: (not quite paying attention to her patient, still looking out the window) With what? Do you need help getting it up?

JOHN THE ITALIAN: No, I was simply reaching for my pen. (Pleading) Help me with my problem with my wife!

DR. JUDY TOOTY: (feigning interest) Ah yes. Well, I'm very busy. (In a trancelike state) This overweight girl is just absolutely enthralling. All those rolls of fat --

JOHN THE ITALIAN: (angrily) Goatish, elf-skinned, coxcomb! What kind of doctor are you?!

DR. JUDY TOOTY: (turning from the window, pointing to the door) That's it! Get out! And by the way, son, you got a panty on your head.

JOHN THE ITALIAN: (walks to the door) They're Jack's, for your information. (Storms out of the office and slam's the door shut behind him).

DR. JUDY TOOTY stands by the window, staring at the door for a moment, then turns her attention back to the fat girl outside her window.


Script by reconstruction site&lollerskater